How to Deal with a Toxic Person Without Compromise

Have you ever encountered a toxic person? There are some blatant signs to identify a toxic person, but how do we deal with them when we encounter one?

A toxic person is anyone who brings negativity at the table and upsets people the people around them. They are called as such not because they are totally toxic and unpleasant, but because of their behavior which is often the result of their traumas and unaddressed issues. Most of them even fails to recognize that they cause stress and irritation to others.

Here are some suggestions on how to deal with a toxic person.

Establish boundaries, and make it clear

For a toxic person, NO is not a complete sentence. They will insist on their ways and promote their agenda albeit the inconvenience their attitude brings. To protect your peace of mind, you have to establish boundaries and make sure that it is respected.

Be honest about your feelings, especially when you feel like you’re already being manipulated or emotionally abused. Politely communicate how the toxic attitude upsets you. Just a reminder – it’s the behavior, not the person. Let the person know that inasmuch as you want to be of help, you want to guard your boundaries as well. Let your YES be YES and your NO be NO.

Take care of yourself first

Take time to rest and recharge, especially when you feel exhausted dealing with the person. At times we want to give our everything and succumb to their demands thinking that they will eventually leave us alone or their attitude will magically improve. Change doesn’t happen overnight. So, in order not to wear yourself out, learn when to rest and when to engage.

Take note that we cannot pour from an empty vessel. Be ministered first before you minister.

Resist the temptation to fix them

In one way or another, we will be tempted to fix the other person. But a word of caution – don’t. We can only give them advice, offer them sound counseling and give them options, but we can never change them. They will always be the captain of their own ship. If they want to change, it must come from their own decision.

When we try to fix them, either we end up getting sucked the life out of us, they will be totally dependent on us, or we rob them of their capacity to decide for themselves – all are not healthy elements of a relationship. Counsel and do not control.

Maintain a safe distance when necessary

At times the best course of action is to walk away from a toxic person. Especially when the relationship is already causing you to doubt yourself, you are constantly affected by their drama, or you feel like you’re walking on eggshells whenever you are with that person. When the other person becomes too controlling, perhaps walking away is the best thing to do.

Keep on praying for that person

Again, it’s not the totality of that person that is toxic, but their attitude. They may not be at their best, but they are not beyond help. Don’t stop praying for that person to be healed of his inconvenient attitude. If you think the problem is caused by unaddressed trauma or issue, refer them to professional help. Dealing with toxic people doesn’t mean we fall victim into their negativities. We can help them without being victimized.

Have you any tips or stories on how to deal with a toxic person? How did you manage the situation?